The last time I spent any significant amount of time in a church I was there to write a story about a community meal program. About the only exposure I get to religious sermons is when I accidentally flip on some television ministry on a Sunday morning. So I'm hardly the best person to comment on what would or would not be an offense to God. I'd hazard a guess He'd be none too thrilled if Paris Hilton were cast as Mary in a new Christmas movie, but I have no idea if the "Grow Jesus" figure I was given for Christmas (grows six times its size in water, though surprisingly does not float) will keep me from having a happy afterlife.
God's got a sense of humor, right? I mean, how else can you explain aardvarks?
Still, there's one new trend that has sparked divided opinions in people more knowledgeable than I about the petty annoyances of the Lord. And it's an issue I suspect will become increasingly common as technology becomes a bigger part of our daily lives.
According to a Reuters story, Vatican representatives have expressed disapproval of a new Italian company that allows the faithful to download images of saints to use as wallpaper on their cell phones. Representatives of the company, which is available at www.santiprotettori.com/indexusa.html, say they are simply offering an updated take on "santini" — images of saints that the faithful tape to the dashboards of their cars or carry in their wallets.
I don't pretend to understand exactly why they do this, but it seems like a kind of holy version of Pokemon, only a lot less popular with pre-teens. (He's using St. Pio of Petralcina — Go, St. Lucy of Siracusa! Use your vow of chastity defense!)
Some in the church, however, see the downloadable saints as much less innocent.
"This is in really bad taste," Bishop Lucio Soravito De Franceschi, a member of the Italian bishops conference committee for doctrinal matters, reportedly told told the Turin newspaper La Stampa.
"It is a distortion of sacred things ... selling 'santini' for cell phones is horrifying."
I don't know how God would feel about my Grow Jesus, but I'm guessing Bishop Lucio Soravito De Franceschi wouldn't be cool with it.
I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. On one hand, I can see how some people might object to treating the images of saints the same way you might treat, say, the photo of the funny road sign you snapped on your last road trip (Buckle up — the life you save could be your own self).
And cell phone saints open the door for technology to horn its way into other aspects of religion. Before you know it people everywhere will take confession by text message. "Bls me Fr. 4 I hv snnd. Kthxbai."
On the other hand, is putting a picture of Saint Patrick on your cell phone really that much worse than sticking Jesus' trading card in your wallet? Let's be honest: there are much worse things you can download on your cell phone.
I know. I get e-mails about them all the time. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure God wouldn't be thrilled about those.
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