Pedal for your potent potables

I've never made any secret of the fact I enjoy bicycles. I've talked about bikes and bike trips and bike races so much in this space over the years I imagine there are some readers out there who would just as soon I suffered a sudden an inexplicable inner ear problem that made it impossible for me to ever again balance on two wheels.
Fair enough. A little mean spirited, but fair enough.
Still, there are some forms of pedal-powered transport even I want no part of. I've mentioned some of them here before. I think recumbent bikes are silly, and if I ever own a tandem bike I'll consider it a sign I've pretty much given up on life. And don't get me started on tandem recumbents.
Tall bikes, homebuilt contraptions that perch the rider twice as far as usual from the ground, are only for people who didn't get enough attention paid to them when they were children.
Now, I can add another contraption to this list of velocipedal shame. It's called the PedalPub and, as the name implies, it invites passengers to pedal their way around Minneapolis while throwing back a drink or two.
So far as I understand, it works like this: You gather 15 or so of your dearest friends. Ten of you hop onto bicycle seats. The smarter ones choose chairs in the back that don't require pedaling. The rest put their legs to work powering the 2,000-pound, VW bus-sized contraption at speeds of up to five miles per hour through the streets of the Twin Cities. For the rate of $150 per hour you get a driver, a bartender and the right to pedal yourself sweaty while you throw back a few cold ones. Because what's the fun of drinking if you can't do it while running the risk of being run over by a bus?
Oh, and you have to provide your own alcohol if you want to drink. Which, when you think about it, is a little bit like asking first-time skydivers to bring their own parachutes.
Actually, drinking on the PedalPub at all is a relatively new addition. Until May the mobile bar was defined as a motor vehicle and covered under the state's open bottle laws. As of May, the portable patio is in the same category as limousines and party buses. Personally, I'd categorize it somewhere between clown cars and medieval torture devices.
I admit there may be others who feel differently about this contraption. According to a story in the July 17 issue of Vita.mn, a 25-year-old pub pedaler called her group's ride — stocked with coolers of cheep beer, vodka slushies and snacks — "my favorite night of the summer so far."
And who knows? Maybe she knows something I don't. Maybe there's something magical about getting tanked while sitting on an uncomfortably wedgie-inducing seat and working up a sweat under a summer sun. Then again, maybe this news story has helped me identify someone whose idea of fun is so far out of whack with my own I need never worry about meeting her.
Thank you, news media.

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