It's all a lie

Daylight Savings Time started Sunday morning, which means roughly one-third of Americans showed up for their first activity Sunday morning and wondered where the heck everyone else was.
Most of us have adjusted by now, but highly scientific data I just made up suggest that at least 12 percent of people still have at least one clock they have not changed. Another .3 percent simply never bothered to set their clocks back last fall will now finally be on time again.
Daylight Savings Time disrupts our lives every year around this time. It robs us of an hour of sleep and forces us to dig out long-buried instruction manuals so we can change clocks on microwave ovens and car dashboards. Yet for all that it remains one of our most beloved examples of mass self-deception, right up there with the beliefs baseball is exciting and American Idol contestants are talented artists.
Let's face it: at its core Daylight Savings Time is really nothing more a near-worldwide agreement to spend several months each year pretending it's an hour later than it actually is. The flow of time doesn't actually change. Days didn't magically become longer Sunday morning. We're all lying to ourselves so we can play in the sun a little longer while it's warm outside.
According to the California Department of Energy's website, the idea for Daylight Savings Time began with Benjamin Franklin, who while a minister to France proposed it in an essay titled "An Economic Project for Diminishing the Cost of Light." Less well known is that Franklin published a similar essay around the same time suggesting a worldwide agreement that overweight, bespectacled, balding men were super sexy.
Frankly, this only confirms my belief that Franklin was the lyingest of our Founding Fathers. In fact, the more I think about it the more I'm convinced all of the Founders were just out to mess with people. Free press? People took that seriously? Those kidders.
Granted, there are some good reasons for this kind of self-deception. Pretending its suddenly staying light longer gives us more time after work to do things like mow the lawn or go out for ice cream. And various studies have suggested that Daylight Savings Time leads to everything from a reduction in violent crime to safer roads. According to the website webexhibits.com, several studies in Great Britain have found that safer roads during the now-illuminated evening hours more than offset an increase in accidents among people forced to drive to work in the dark. In other words, if you have any driving to do this summer try to do it after noon. Otherwise, you're taking your life into your own hands.
Still, Daylight Savings Time isn't without its controversies. Hawaii still doesn't recognize Daylight Savings Time. Nor does Arizona, although the Navajo Nation within the state does. Which really messes you up when you visit the casinos.
In 1965, not even Minneapolis and St. Paul could come to an agreement on Daylight Savings Time. That year, St. Paul set its clocks ahead on the same day as the rest of the country, while its neighbor to the west conformed to state law and waited a few weeks. So, depending on which way you were going, crossing the Mississippi River that summer could have taken either an hour or sent you back in time. Although, that’s kind of what it’s like driving from Minneapolis to St. Paul anyway.
Even the Amish have trouble agreeing on Daylight Savings Time. According to webexhibits.org there is no consensus among the Amish communities about whether to observe Daylight Savings Time. In one Ohio county, the site claims, 10 of 90 Amish church districts opt out of Daylight Savings Time. Which inevitably raises questions about how exactly a person goes about setting a sun dial an hour ahead.
I, for one, am all in favor of Daylight Savings Time. It's been nice this week driving home in the daylight. And considering I'm already hard at work convincing myself I'm talented and handsome (at least as good-looking as Ben Franklin) I don't see how a little more self-deception could hurt.


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