Keep on truckin'

It seems like every third commercial on TV these days involves one automaker or another telling everyone how big and powerful their pick-up trucks are.
This isn't an entirely new thing. Americans have been infatuated with larger-than-necessary trucks ever since we as a culture decided we didn't give a darn how much gas cost — or how often news anchors told us prices were increasing — because we needed to drive around town in something larger than many people's first apartments.
Still, things seem to be getting out of hand. These commercials are everywhere. I see them a lot during sporting events, which makes a certain amount of sense. Manly Men watch sports, and Manly Men need big trucks so they can pull up stumps or haul construction debris or drag Rhode Island over to the West Coast just for the heck of it. Probably while wearing flannel shirts and steel-toed work boots. These are things Manly Men do.
But I also see a lot of commercials for these trucks during The Office. Do Manly Men like quiet, observational comedies shot in a documentary style? Do Manly Men care whether Jim and Pam end up together? Do they wipe away tears with flannel hankies? Maybe Manly Men are more diverse than I give them credit for.
I'm learning things watching these commercials. A few weeks ago I had no idea what a leaf spring was. Now two manufacturers are telling me their massive springs — "honkin'" is the term one of them uses — are the reason their trucks are strong enough to hold all of the rocks or manure or small office buildings you want to load them down with. Frankly, I would have thought a part so vital to making our trucks super-tough would have a more rugged-sounding name. Something less plant related. Like, biceps spring, maybe. Or tough-guy spring.
I've seen trucks pulling trains. I've seen trucks driven at breakneck speeds to the edges of cliffs. Manly Men have very little respect for the well-being of their trucks. Then again, their trucks are tough. Their trucks can take it. Their trucks want it that way, because they are Manly Trucks.
I'm sure there are people who need trucks like these. These are people whose job involves activities more strenuous than sitting at a desk and typing all day. Although, to be fair, I'm at serious risk of carpal tunnel. I take that risk every week because I want to entertain you, my readers. I don't consider myself a hero for that, but it's OK if you do.
Still, I'm not sure the market is so large I need to spend every commercial break learning about fully-boxed frames or supersized tow hitches or brakes the size of manhole covers apparently designed specifically to stop speeding trucks at the edges of cliffs.
Then again, maybe these automakers know something I don't. Maybe our environment is worse than we realize and we'll all soon need trucks so large they have their own gravitational pull just to survive. Or maybe our obesity epidemic is spiraling out of control and we'll need super-sized trucks just to haul our super-sized butts around.
Better beef up those tough-guy springs.